When you ask why there aren't answers for our losses and if we have tried "X,Y & Z" yet, what I hear is "Why aren't you asking the right questions and wanting to get results." Unless you are a medical professional (or someone who has gone through multiple losses), we really don't want to be asked those question. We understand that when you ask, it comes from a place of wanting to be helpful, but what it does to us is hurt more than help.
Trust me when I say we've asked every question out there and have explored almost every avenue possible. I've had so many blood tests that there are days when I am surprised that I even have any blood left. 12 vials of blood in one sitting has become no big deal for me anymore. That should say a lot coming from a girl who just 2 years ago couldn't even walk into a lab for bloodwork without passing out, let alone have one tube taken without going into an absolute panic.
On top of the bloodwork comes the intravaginal probes, the MRIs, ultrasounds, and hysteroscopies. When I say we've researched and tried to uncover it all, we really believe we have left no stone unturned. What this has left us with is thousands of dollars of bills, yet no baby so far.
So when you have the urge to ask if we have tried this therapy that your cousin's neighbor's friend tried who had been dealing with fertility issues, please take a deep breath and hold off on asking. Please trust that we are working with some of the best Fertility Specialists out there and we have done our research.
I just recently came across your blog today and wanted to offer you well wishes and strength on this journey. I lost my second pregnancy this week due to a fetal abnormality (the first pregnancy was lost due to a kidney abnormality, the second due to anencephaly). It is really not a fun club to be a part of. Many of the thoughts and feelings you describe I have felt myself. Just know you aren't alone and this truly does suck, it's cruel and unfair.
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