Struggles

I need to preface this post by saying that I know I am not facing infertility, nor do I know the agony of what it is like to struggle for years and years to have a baby, looking month after month at negative pregnancy tests. What I do know, though, is what it is like to struggle with the aftermath of a miscarriage, going through a D&C, having in office procedures, outpatient surgery, and also being "benched" for a few extra months due time timing conflicts, all while getting news on what feels like a daily basis about yet another friend being pregnant. No matter what the struggle is to get pregnant or stay pregnant, it is still a struggle to the person or couple going through it.

I came across this article today on a forum I am a part of and felt compelled to share it. I think it takes a very honest look at the emotions that are coupled with the struggles to become pregnant.

ten words that describe infertility

Hold your thoughts, prayers, and good vibes

Thank you all for your positive thoughts, good vibes, juju, prayers, and well wishes for what should have been my surgery on May 14th, but unfortunately you'll have to save it all for June 4th.

Last Monday I started to feel run down, had the chills, scratchy throat, basically the normal routine for when I come down with a cold or strep throat. I made it to the hospital for my surgery Tuesday morning, still not feeling great. By the time I made it to pre-op and spoke with the Anesthesiologist, my throat was pretty swollen and my fever had gone up. The Anesthesiologist didn't feel comfortable putting me under since this was considered an "elective" surgery and really could be done at a later date. She felt that my airway was already compromised with a swollen throat and if she had to intubate me it would only make matters worse. Needless to say, I wasn't willing to risk my ability to breath!

I'm a little bummed that I couldn't just put the surgery in my past and start moving forward, but by no means would I ever want to compromise my health and safety. So tune in June 4th for attempt #2 at surgery.

Start of a new chapter

Tomorrow starts a new chapter in this process and one step closer to being able to have a baby.

I can't believe that 5 months ago I sat thinking and feeling like my surgery day was so far away and now that day is tomorrow. The surgery marks the beginning of the process of being able to TTC (trying to conceive) again since my uterine septum should will be removed. G-d willing, Dr. E (my new RE- long story!), will be able to remove all of the septum tomorrow and I should not need any further surgery.

The procedure is scheduled for 10am, so I will be arriving by 8:30. If all goes as planned, I should be out of surgery by 11, in recovery until noon or 1 and on my way home by 2pm! Considering I am supposed to finish my dinner tonight by 8pm and not eat or drink after midnight, I'm thinking I'll be one  hungry girl by the time I get home tomorrow. Possibly pizza and french fries will be my treat?

So when can we start trying again you ask? Dr. E prefers couples to wait 2-3 cycles after surgery before trying again so that the line of the uterus can grow back nice and strong and heal properly. We will take his advice for sure- I mean, he did go to school for a million years to learn all that he knows right? So for once, I will stop advising with Dr. Google and will just listen to my own doctor on what to do.

For all those who are reading this, I'd appreciate any good vibes you can send my way (and to my surgeon too!) tomorrow!